Declaration of War

Article I, Sction 8. The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes, duties, imposts and excises, to pay the debts and provide for the common defense and general welfare of the United States; but all duties, imposts and excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;...............To declare war, grant letters of marque and reprisal, and make rules concerning captures on land and water.

Now, as I read that, only Congress can declare war. Did I miss something while I was overseas? Did the Congress of the United States declare war on someone? So why am I hearing from conservatives that the reason for the "Patriot" Act is that we're at war? Was there part of the Constitution that I didn't learn in school; that section on secret declarations?

I wouldn't dream of making my declaration in private. That would be the cowards way out. And I won't reinvent the wheel in my declaration either, so here goes:

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people (person; I can't speak for the rest of you sheeple) to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

I hereby declare my just and open separation from the idiot herd known as the American populace. Don't get my wrong, I'm not separating myself from the United States, only from that idiot majority that amazingly re-elect His Royal Stupidity George II (sometimes known as Bush). I am declaring war on the same. I guess you could call it a war on Creeping Ineptitude and Stupidity. From this point forward, just so the entire world knows, the chief commander in stupidity does not speak for me. I will show him no fealty, no loyalty or respect. Henceforth (at least for the next four years) I will see the office of President of the United States as a vacant post. Those waiting for competent leadership may rally around my flag. Join my corps of vocal resistors. Sharpen your pencils, buy your paper and pay your internet service bills. We are now at war.

Become an enemy combatant!!